How Do I Make Healthy Habits Actually Stick?
Healthy habits fail because "getting healthy" has been sold to you as something that has to be miserable. The seven strategies below show you how to build sustainable healthy habits that are easier to start, harder to quit, and — genuinely — not a total slog.
If you've ever wanted to get healthy and then, about two weeks in, wanted to tear your eyeballs out because it was just so miserable, this article's for you.
I don't know when this happened, likely it's been there all along, but somehow, some way, "getting healthy" became synonymous with torture.
It all boils down to a much bigger problem, one that pervades American culture more than almost anything else. We are in the middle of a seriousness crisis 🚨. Look around. Kids can't even play soccer without having the training schedule of an olympic athlete. I mean, who really thought it was normal to have seven year olds practice for hours before school even starts and then spend their entire weekends in tournaments in the middle of freaking nowhere? And don't even get me started on how their parents act. Back in my day, we played soccer for an hour on Saturdays and then got Dairy Queen after which, let's be real, was the whole reason I played soccer. We still got the teambuilding skills and physical activity, we just didn't despise our lives in the process.
This seriousness problem has seeped into every single facet of our culture, whether you want to admit it or not. And when there is something that feels like it should be taken seriously — your health, your career, your relationships — we've now made sure that they are also serious, arduous ventures, lest we give off the idea that we don't want that end goal badly enough. I mean, if our actions don't scream "penance," how could we possibly be worthy of the shiny object waiting for us at the finish line?
Here's the skinny: you're allowed to take your health, your career, your relationships, or anything else that's important to you seriously. But that doesn't mean you have to suffer through them to make them mean something. And whenever I see someone struggling to maintain healthy habits, it's almost always because they have a deep seated belief that health has to be a struggle. That health is about sacrifice, doing hard things, and giving up what you love in order to achieve some amorphous end goal of "health." And, even sneakier, they're almost never aware of this belief because it's rarely a conscious thought.
I've been there. I nearly drove myself to the point of insanity chasing health. Being meticulous about everything I ate, how I moved my body, what activities I could and couldn't do. My life became so full of rules and restrictions that I honestly felt like I was repenting for sins I didn't even know I committed.
But I worked my way out of that. Now I genuinely enjoy being healthy and doing things for my health (don't worry, this article is not about how you will grow to love kale salads and 5 AM workouts. I actually don't believe in rising before the sun, but that's for another article). This is something I work on with clients every single day. Because, if you know anything about me or this publication, you know that my deepest held belief is that health should add to your enjoyment of life, not run your life or feel like a dreaded homework assignment. So if health has felt like an absolute slog and you're looking for a way to make it feel not just bearable, but maybe even a little enjoyable, this one's for you.
Here are the seven ways to make getting healthy not totally suck:
Focus on what you’re adding instead of what you’re removing
Commit to just one new habit at a time
Don’t do things you hate
Have fun
Gamify your health goals
Focus on how healthy habits make you feel
Remember what you're doing it for
Read on for more ⬇️
1. Focus on what you’re adding instead of what you’re removing
How to Eat Healthy Without Restricting Food
You don't have to cut everything you love to get healthy, you just have to start adding the right things in. When you focus on addition over restriction, sustainable healthy habits become dramatically easier to build and actually keep.
When someone begins getting healthy or losing weight, they often start by thinking about all of the things they need to cut. I can't have sugar, I can't drink alcohol, I can't stay out late, I can't go out to eat…until their life becomes one big No. No wonder people think getting healthy is miserable. When you surgically remove every last thing that brings you joy, how on earth could you possibly imagine sticking to the plan?
Now listen, I'm not going to tell you that sugar, or alcohol, or staying up into the wee hours of the night is healthy. Anyone who tells you that is either delusional or a snake oil salesman. But, what I can tell you is that your body can tolerate some amount of sugar, alcohol, or poor sleep and still get healthy or lose weight so long as you spend the majority of your time focusing on all of the healthy things you're adding into your life.
What does this mean? Don't waste your time thinking about all the things you "can't" have or counting every measly calorie that enters your mouth. Instead think, what can I add to my diet or movement that will add to my health? Can I add 1-2 cups of veggies to every single meal, no matter what I'm eating (yes, I have had clients who were originally eating lots of fast food simply add a bag of baby carrots to their burger order and yes that does absolutely make a difference, not just in the moment, but in the habits they're building long term). Can I add a 5-10 minute walk after every meal or even just lunch? Can I add protein to each meal? You get where I'm going here.
How much easier is it to look at your fridge as you prep dinner and think "Okay, how can I add veggies and protein" instead of "How can I limit my calories, limit my fat, limit my sugar." The first is how you find meals you love. The second is how you end up eating rice cakes and broiled chicken breast chased with a nice glass of your own tears.
This is something I live myself too. This last weekend, I had my sister's bridal shower and I knew there was going to be some yummy food there. So, in the morning, I focused on adding protein and veggies to my breakfast (a delicious chocolate peanut butter smoothie), and at the shower itself, I loaded up on the roast chicken and brussels sprouts before absolutely obliterating a slice of cheesecake that was truly out of this world. I didn't tell myself no sweets. I focused on everything I could add to my day, so the cheesecake was just one little blip on an otherwise nutrient dense day. And, after that meal, I went right back to having a balanced dinner that night of salmon sliders with slaw. And the next morning I didn't starve myself because I was "bad" the day before. I ate my smoothie once I was hungry, just like I do pretty much every morning, and went about my normal habits.
The easiest way to start with this addition principle is with just looking at what you're eating now and making additive tweaks. Here's a real example from a client I saw the other week. She was making a meat sauce pasta many nights of the week because she knew her kids would eat that, but wanted to make her dinner more balanced. Rather than ask her to make a totally new dish, one that her kids probably wouldn't touch, we looked at how she could tweak that meal to add more nutrients. Could she cook down veggies like tomato, onion, peppers, or mushroom in the sauce, or maybe even blend in some spinach? Or could she make a simple side salad for herself if her kids were extremely picky and wouldn't touch a veggie loaded pasta? Could she use bean-based (lentil/chickpea) noodles for more fiber and protein instead of regular noodles? You don't have to overhaul your entire habits, just think, what's one thing I can add?
2. Commit to just one new habit at a time
Why Should I Only Change One Habit at a Time?
Trying to overhaul everything at once is the most reliable way to burn out and quit. Research consistently shows that focusing on one new behavior at a time dramatically increases your chances of making it stick for good.
Going off the last point, your life is now going to become about adding. And if you're particularly motivated to begin, you're going to want to add everything. All at once.
I get it. Once I set my mind to something, I want to go all in. I am absolutely a recovering hardo. But what happens when you adopt this hardo mentality is that, yes, you move the needle dramatically for about two weeks. And then you burn yourself out so badly, you curse the very venture to begin with and swear to never embark on it again. That is, until the motivation bug hits you again and you end up in this same cycle. Sound familiar?
Now this trick is designed to make your life easier, but it will honestly feel hard to adhere to because you'll think "Jamie, this is painfully slow. Why are you making me do this? Can't I do more?" No, you may not, and there is a method to my madness. The goal here is to create sustainable habits. Not habits you nail perfectly for two weeks and then abandon. Habits that become so ingrained in your life, they're as simple, benign, and automatic as brushing your teeth. But to get there, you need to take it slow. How do you do that? Implement one new addition at a time.
Let's say you're truly starting from square one, eating pure fast food and sugar, and not moving your body. There's a lot you could add here. But pick one thing. Maybe for you, that's adding something with protein to every meal. So yes, you may still start your day with a donut, but you have some greek yogurt first to better balance your blood sugar. And then, once this habit feels more automatic, you decide to add in something else. Maybe you add in a cup of veggies to every lunch and dinner. And then, once that's more automatic, you decide to start adding a 15 minute walk in the morning. And so on and so on until all of a sudden, you're "healthy." I know this sounds like it's so dumbed down it won't move the needle. We've been taught that to be "healthy" you have to be living like a saint. But I used this exact plan (adding greek yogurt before the donuts and all) with a client who, after making these simple, stepwise additions, was finally able to lose the extra weight she'd been carrying after trying to diet her entire life. Specifically, after six months, she was able to lose 25 pounds after yo-yoing with the same 10 pounds her entire life.
Maybe you're further along on your health journey so your additions look different. For me, it's been consciously adding a high fiber food each day (ex: chia seeds, beans, etc.) to make sure I get enough fiber on the road. But the addition principle still applies. What's the next thing you're going to add?
3. Don’t do things you hate
Do You Have to Run If You Hate Doing It?
No, and there is not a single study that says you do. The type of movement doesn't matter nearly as much as finding something you'll actually keep doing. Hating your workout is not a requirement for results. Just like hating your diet is a surefire way that you’ll never want to eat healthily again.
Somewhere along the way, we adopted this idea that health has to suck. And to achieve health in a way that feels meaningful, we have to do things we hate. And don't get me wrong, there will be times that you'll desperately want a brownie (or five) instead of your meal prepped dinner and times where you'd rather get a dental cleaning than go to the gym. But that still doesn't mean you have to do things you hate.
Here's what this looks like for me: I am, in fact, one of those sickos that loves running. You'll never catch me running a marathon, but I love to put in three miles a few times per week. It's honestly the only time my body moves fast enough to keep up with my brain and I love it for the clarity it gives me. On the other hand, you will never ever ever find me swimming laps in a pool (you're telling me people enjoy holding their breath while they exercise all while not being able to distract themselves with their favorite playlist?!), doing anything with the word "bootcamp" in it, or going on a stairmaster. I mean really, is there anyone who doesn't feel like walking up fake stairs for 30 minutes isn't some kind of medieval torture device? But guess what? I don't have to do those things to be healthy. The stairmaster doesn't work because it's special. It works because it gets your heart rate up and works your muscles, all things I can do by running and lifting and getting my steps in.
Same with the kale. Yes, kale has many nutrients, but there's no Vitamin Kale that you need in your life. Eat the broccoli, or the brussels sprouts, or anything else with vitamins, minerals, and fiber if the thought of kale makes you sad.
If something in your health plan makes you miserable, find an alternative that you actually tolerate or maybe even enjoy. More suffering does not equal more health.
4. Have fun
Why Does Getting Healthy Feel So Miserable?
Getting healthy feels miserable when the entire plan is built on restriction, obligation, and doing things you hate. The fix isn't suffering through your plan, but rather building one you genuinely enjoy living in.
Your health is allowed to be fun. It feels silly even saying this, but here we go: I am giving you full permission to enjoy getting healthy.
You might have rolled your eyes at that, but take a moment to think about your true, deeply held beliefs around health. Do you believe that you don't deserve to earn it if you don't work hard enough for it in the process?
As was the basis of last week's entire article, as I grow my business, I am living every single lesson that I preach about nutrition, just in this other facet of life. I believe in my bones, and have for quite some time, that nutrition should be (relatively) easy and add to your life. I don't believe in suffering just for some seemingly pious reason of suffering. However, in a business sense, I found myself believing that if I wasn't grinding 24/7, I didn't deserve to have a business. I didn't deserve to have clients. And I sure as heck didn't deserve the money coming my way. Until I actually stopped long enough to question that belief and realized that it in no way aligns with how I live my life.
People fall into this trap all the time because putting in hard work gives meaning to your results. But what if you were able to be proud of your accomplishments simply because you did them, not because you tortured yourself along the way?
So, in this vein, make health fun. Eating healthy doesn't have to mean ground beef, rice, and steamed broccoli. Your meals don't have to make you sad. Just this last week, some of the very balanced, nutrient-rich meals I had were chicken shawarma bowls, veggie loaded pasta bolognese, pad thai, and fajitas. If you're not enjoying your meals, you're doing it wrong.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not dying to eat every single thing I make — sometimes we run out of time and have to eat a simple salad to make it work — but, for the most part, you should look forward to eating. Because half the joy of being alive is getting to eat yummy foods. And if you dread what you're eating, you're going to dread getting healthy.
5. Gamify your health
How to Gamify Your Health Goals
Gamification makes healthy habits stick because it works with how humans are actually wired: we are driven by rewards, points, and visible progress. There's no reason your health plan can't take advantage of that.
There is one thing you need to understand about us humans, if you haven't realized it already: we are very simple beings. We are driven by treats, rewards, games, and competition. This is in part why Weight Watchers was so successful (before Ozempic came along and made logging your food to lose weight feel like something only peasants would do). No one loves logging what they're eating, but to assign point values to foods, to have foods that you got to eat for free — zero points wasted! — it made dieting exciting. Well, as exciting as dieting can be.
Now, I'm not asking you to log or track anything. But where can you add elements of gamification to your health? Here are my favorite ways.
Assign points to everything.
No, not Weight Watchers points, but points like you're Mrs. Packman gobbling up whatever those little dots are. Each time you eat a cup of veggies? Point. Each glass of water? Point. Every 1000 steps? Point. The good news about this game? Unlike Packman, there are no goblins that make you lose all your points. Eating the brownie or having a glass of wine are NOT minus one point. This game is purely additive. You're simply trying to say, "How can I get as many points as possible in one day?"
Track these points.
It's one thing to say "Yay broccoli, one point!" It's another to actually tally that. And there's a reason your teacher used gold stars in elementary school. They're fun! So buy a fun pack of stickers, add marbles to a jar, literally anything that feels whimsical and fun for you, and get tracking.
Give yourself a little treat.
Once you've gotten a certain amount of points or been consistent for a specified amount of time, give yourself a treat. Who doesn't love a little treat? I know I sure do.Now there's one caveat here, this treat should fuel your end goal. So if you're thinking you're going to reward your consistency in healthy eating with a big slice of cake, think again.But maybe you're trying to lose weight to feel more confident. What else makes you feel confident? A blowout, a new top, that next thing from Sephora that you don't need at all but you're trying to convince yourself you do? Make that your reward. Win-win for you!
There's nothing that says we can't make absolutely everything a fun little game. Nutrition is not an exception.
6. Focus on how healthy habits make you feel
How Do I Stop Falling Off My Healthy Eating Plan?
The most reliable way to stop falling off your healthy eating plan is to stop making food choices based on rules and start making them based on how that food actually makes you feel. This connection is the thing that keeps you consistent when motivation runs out.
The number one skill I work on with clients, no matter what their end goal is, is to focus on how what they're eating and how they're moving their bodies makes them feel. Because, let's be real, for most people, there are very few moments when a salad sounds like it will be tastier than a brownie. That's just life. So I never try to convince my clients that veggies are actually the tastiest thing on earth and they'll just come to hate sugar (yes, you can absolutely make craveable veggies and your sweet tooth will lessen the more optimally you eat, but I'm not going to pretend that just because my diet is pretty great that I still don't love dessert). So because I'm not trying to sell my clients on a false promise, what do we focus on instead to get them choosing the salad the majority of the time? How those foods make them feel.
Because you can have a brownie every now and then and really not feel any different for eating it, especially if you're already loading up on nutrient rich foods the majority of the time. But if you have a brownie every day or even every other day, it's going to add up. You're going to start to feel mentally foggy, maybe a little achy, bloated, and just off. When you have the salads or those balanced meals the majority of the time, you truly notice a difference in not just your energy, but your mood, your cravings, and even your sleep. And if you've been eating a less-than-optimal diet for quite some time, I do actually recommend having a week where you're committed to eating only nourishing foods — NOT restricting your intake, just consciously choosing balanced, whole-food meals — to see how different you can feel. Every single client I’ve worked with has reported feeling night and day better after doing this, so I recommend you try it if you’re habits feel less than dialed in.
But here, the same applies. If you only eat the salads and the "healthy" meals without ever allowing any fun, you're going to start feeling pretty sad pretty quickly. While I am definitely not an "all foods fit just eat whatever you want dietitian," I am a "food dictates how you feel, but that means both physically and mentally so include some treats even if they do nothing for your physical health" dietitian (quite the title, no?).
So as you start to roll your eyes at your balanced lunch, ask yourself how it will make you feel. And then tune in in the hours after lunch to see how you really feel. Same goes for the treats. Have that slice (or two or three) of pizza and then see how you feel while eating it and after. Make your decisions based on how they make you feel, not how some random person on the internet told you to eat.
7. Remember what you're doing it for
Why Am I Even Embarking on A Health Journey?
We saved the most important for last, so if you started mindlessly scrolling through this post somewhere around "kale," it's time to tune back in!
This is truly the most important thing to do when pursuing any kind of health goal (honestly any kind of goal at all). And that is remember what you're doing it for.
Maybe you want to lose weight. Okay, why? Most people stop at the first answer. "Because I want to fit into my old jeans." But that's usually not the real reason. Keep digging.Why do you want to fit into your old jeans? Maybe because you want to feel more comfortable in your body.Why does that matter? Maybe because when you feel comfortable in your body, you feel confident. And when you feel confident, you stop holding yourself back. You speak up more. You wear the outfit. You go on the date. You feel free to fully participate in your life.You feel limitless. That's the real goal.The weight loss is just the vehicle.
This matters because when you lose sight of the bigger reason, it's easy to become obsessed with the process. You start thinking the goal is eating perfectly, never missing a workout, or surviving on 99% lean ground turkey and sugar free ketchup. But if your health habits are making your life smaller, they're no longer serving the thing you actually wanted, which is to feel limitless.
So whatever your goal is, keep asking why until you get to the thing underneath it. That's the part that will keep you motivated. And it's also the thing that will help you recognize when you've wandered too far into health becoming your entire personality.
And guess what? Your goal is 100% allowed to be derived out of vanity. I can't tell you how many clients come to me apologizing for wanting to lose weight for vanity's sake. So you want to feel beautiful, that's an amazing goal! It only becomes problematic if you sacrifice your physical or mental health in pursuit of that goal. But if the only way to get yourself to the gym is because it makes you feel hot, honestly go for it. I've had a streak of vanity ever since I opened my first People Magazine and, guess what? It can be motivating.
Nevertheless, define your powerful end goal and then let it motivate your actions.
Where Do We Go From Here?
Health should add to your life, full stop.That doesn't mean you'll love every healthy choice. You probably won't be thrilled to skip the second glass of wine or choose the balanced breakfast every morning.But if your version of health feels like punishment, something has gone wrong.
The healthiest people I know aren't gritting their teeth through life. They've built habits that feel natural, mostly enjoyable, and sustainable.
That's the goal.
If you apply these above tips, not only will you be able to finally stick with your health plan, but it won't feel like such a friggin' slog.
And though these tips are simple, they're not always easy to implement. If you're looking for someone to help you navigate this and make becoming healthier actually add to your life, check out the ways that we can work together. I'd love to help you feel your most vibrant and alive.
Frequently Asked Questions
Why do my healthy habits always fail after two weeks?
Most healthy habits fail after two weeks because people try to change too much too fast, burning out before any single behavior has a chance to become automatic. Research shows habit formation takes closer to two months than two weeks. The fix is picking one change at a time and building from there rather than overhauling everything at once.
Do I have to give up foods I love to be healthy?
No. You do not have to eliminate foods you love to get healthy. An addition-focused approach — where you prioritize what you're adding to your diet rather than what you're cutting out — is both more sustainable and more effective long-term than restriction-based eating plans. This means focusing on adding both veggies and protein to your meals rather than focusing on the ingredients or foods you need to cut.
How long does it take for a healthy habit to become automatic?
Research suggests the average new habit takes around 66 days to feel automatic, though the range varies widely depending on the person and the behavior. The key is consistency over perfection, showing up most of the time for a few months matters far more than executing flawlessly for two weeks and quitting. To do this, choose one habit to start with and try to show up 6 out of the 7 days of the week to keep this consistency.
