You Are Not the Victim

I’m sorry. It had to be said. But let me explain.

When you’re diagnosed with an autoimmune disease, or even dealing with symptoms that are debilitating or just constantly annoying, it’s easy to throw your hands up and ask, “Why me?”

Why do I have to deal with this when no one around me does?

Why do I suddenly have limitations when everyone else gets to live freely?

How did I get so unlucky?

I get it. Truly. I’ve been there.

The minute I got the message from my doctor telling me I didn’t just have an autoimmune disease, but two, and that one of them was still a complete mystery, I panicked. I did what I was very good at back then: run from my feelings (quite literally).

I went straight to the gym to run them off. My grand plan to outrun my thoughts quickly turned into me hyperventilating on the elliptical while my brain spiraled into worst-case scenarios. 

(And before you judge, I was 24, okay?)

“Can I keep showing up to work with zero energy?”

“Will I have to go on disability?”

“Will I ever be able to go out with my friends again?”

“Can I even date like this?”

“How will I ever find love if I’m stuck in bed with fatigue and pain?”

“Am I going to end up alone, friendless, and broke because I literally can’t function?!”

No matter how rational or dramatic your fears feel, they’re real. A chronic diagnosis, or even the suggestion of one, is terrifying. And beyond that, it feels deeply unfair.

You look around at friends who can eat whatever they want, drink like fish, sleep like garbage, and still wake up glowing with a clean bill of health. Unfair.

But here’s the hard truth. You are not the victim.

And even if I humor the idea that you are a victim of bad luck, genetics, or some higher power’s cruel timing, believing that story will stop your healing in its tracks. Full stop.

The moment you label yourself the victim, you give up your agency. You quietly tell yourself, “Life gave me crap, life will keep giving me crap, and nothing I do really matters anyway.” That may sound dramatic, but pay attention the next time that mindset creeps in. It probably sounds eerily similar.

When you’re a victim, you’re at the mercy of something bigger than you. Everything that happens to you feels out of your control, good or bad.

So what does it mean to not be a victim?

It means acknowledging that life dealt you a shitty hand and deciding you’re still going to play it well.

Think of it like a card game. You don’t always get a great hand, but that doesn’t mean the game is over. That’s where strategy comes in. You bluff. You pivot. You get creative. Starting at a deficit doesn’t mean you’re destined to lose. It means you rise to the challenge.

Here’s another truth most people don’t like to hear. Your body’s only goal is survival. It does not want symptoms. It wants balance and healing. When dysfunction shows up, it’s not punishment. It’s communication.

Something is off.

That could be unrelenting stress, depleted nutrients, gut damage, undernourishment, emotional overload, or usually a combination of several things. Symptoms are your body waving a giant flag saying, “Hey, something needs attention.” 

Your symptoms, in reality, can be a blessing. They point out that something needs to be fixed so you can become a better version of yourself.

And while your symptoms might not feel like an opportunity yet, that’s okay. If someone had told me my autoimmune diagnosis would eventually become one of my greatest assets, I would have punched them square in the face. So don’t worry about extracting beautiful lessons right now. Just need to focus on what’s in your control.

So grieve your diagnosis. Grieve your symptoms. They suck, and from the bottom of my heart, I’m sorry you’re dealing with this.

But don’t live there.

Use this moment as an invitation to look at what’s not working so you can not only heal, but build a life that actually supports you. One where your energy, confidence, and trust in your body come back online.

And if you don’t know where to start, that’s exactly where I come in.

I’ve walked this path. I’ve asked the same questions. And I’ve helped countless others move from stuck and overwhelmed to empowered and healing.

If you want support digging through the muck and figuring out what your body actually needs, I’m here. Explore my free resources or check out the ways we can work together.

You’ve got this. And I’m cheering you on every step of the way.

-Jamie